The radio sang and I hummed. The light turned green and I turned the wheel. Suddenly the street elongated as if it was something out of a trippy cartoon. The cars seemed to slow down, or perhaps they were blazing by at the speed of light. I glanced out my rear view window, everything behind me was untouched by what lay in front of me. The school bus continued to drop off children, the mailman continued to deliver letters. I peeled my eyes away from the rear view and focused out the windshield. As if it were out of a movie, all at once the sirens blared, the lights blazed, and the horror filled my mind. Leaving not even a second to process what was happening I instinctively pulled the car over to the side and allowed the ambulance to roar down the road. All this within a few fleeting breaths, but it changed everything. I don't know who the ambulance carried, or why they were rushing to the hospital, but it doesn't matter. It happened. And for all I know, the repercussions of that moment are still being felt, perhaps they will continue to be felt for the rest of this mortal lifetime. It is a sobering thought.. one moment changes everything.
It bothers me when people do not understand that everything matters. Events matter. People matter. Words matter. Good and bad, every action bears a consequence. The phrase "time and space is the great healer" really pisses me off. Probably because I know it's true, but I don't want to wait. I want the pain to subside now. I wish humans could grasp that memories are real, and intimate, and extremely powerful. [I'm writing this down because I believe memories carry some sort of emotional baggage and that weight upon the individual is both legitimate and worth exploring.] The mind is able to remember minor details, able to hide pain from the individual. I do not think this is coincidental. But sometimes pain is triggered by a familiar thought, idea, scent, or scene. Again, I do not think this is coincidental. There must be a purpose, I just don't know what it is, but I am going to find out.
One moment is all it takes.
and happy freaking september.
