mindless chatter.

The shear curtains swayed gently as the crisp fall breeze danced through the window.  It was only half past five in the evening, but it felt much later.  Exhaustion fooled my body once again.  I glanced down at my phone and reminded myself that there was still work to be done before night got away from me, again.  In the not so distant downstairs I could hear my siblings argue meaninglessly about who was to wash the dishes, and who was to dry them.  "It's all the same," I thought to myself with a silent laugh, "I could probably do it all in less time than it takes them to fight about it."  But who am I to get in the way of their chores?  I had just completed making dinner, setting out the dishes, and cleaning up the left over food.  I deserved a break, right?  I quickly made my escape up to my hideaway as soon as everyone was preoccupied.  Perhaps that was deceitful, but quite frankly, I like being alone more than being in the company of others, even when that company is my own flesh and blood.  At least this isn't a new pattern.  Ever since I could remember being alone in my room was better than being with people.  I'm no good at small talk, I'm reluctant to start conversations, and if I could choose I would never bring myself to a party.  People bother me.  It's not that I'm afraid of them, I just don't like them.  With all their problems, and pains, quirks, and smells...I find it much easier to deal with one person: me.  I am a comprised of all the things which I do not like, but at least I'm familiar with my shortcomings, my hidden secrets, my annoying habits, and distasteful aroma.  I brought myself out of this cloud of mindless chatter an back into the world beckoning me from inside the pages of my psychology textbook.  I reached for it, but fell short.  If I haven't read it by now, am I really going to read it right now?  Perhaps tomorrow, when it isn't quite so dark outside.  Let's hope it rains again.